My therapists daughter called me two weeks ago. When I say my therapist, I mean the one who changed my life during my time with the Sullivanian’s. “Hello Judy. Sit down because this is someone you haven’t talked to in a long time”. Immediately on edge, I sat down at my desk and braced myself. ” She said this is Amanda.” I immediately knew who she was. My mind flipped back to 1995. Susie was a beautiful young woman in her 20’s. She had just given birth to a baby boy last time I saw her. She was filled with happiness and life and friends. She had been raised by my therapist and his wife and was always around us “hippies”. She knew us. We were growing up and she was growing up. The last time I saw her she was in her apartment getting ready to move out. I came by to give them a gift and found out he was moving. I was surprised, but I assumed she wanted a fresh start. Like I had at one time.
I remember when my mother passed in 2001 I wrote an email to Amanda’s husband. I thought I’d hear from them but I never did, which made this call especially surprising. “I want to talk to you. Are you free on Sunday?” I thought two things immediately. First, I thought she might want to join me for memorial of someone else from our time. An attorney he dad traded and was part of our group. And then at the same time I thought maybe she’d hate to go to such an event. She’d left town years ago and maybe all of that was behind her. But then I thought again because after all, she did call me. ” Do you want to come to the memorial service on Sunday?” And she said yes.
That Sunday my buzzer rang. I rang her in and moment later she was at my door. The same pretty smart face greeted me when I opened the door. I wondered if she’d recognize me. That God, she did! I made us lobster rolls in honor of our time on East Hampton. She loved it!
While walking to the memorial, I realized Amanda wasn’t the only person being reunited with people from the time I was hanging out on East Hampton, so was I! When we walked in, I quickly realized this was a huge event. The room swarmed with navy blue and black suits. Attorneys. Mike was a wonderful attorney, but he loved music. Especially jazz. At the memorial they played tapes of him playing the piano and singing. Just incredible.
Theres times in your life when you transition to the next phase. It’s almost like we are re-birthing each time. Because it could be very painful. Like when you are born, or when you have to leave your parents home, or when you choose the wrong partner and you have to expand your world and leave. Suddenly the things you thought you wanted to do in terms of work and play aren’t what you thought and you begin a new search. This is the search for your self. The search for happiness.
Standing in he room these decisions I made through life – the changes that seemed so hard- flooded back to me and I suddenly found myself overwhelmed with forgiveness and acceptance for all of them. There was Suzie, the one who left. There I was, the other one who left and then came back! And we were all in the same room surrounded by my friends incredible jazz music.
Before we left, Amanda turned to me and said, “I would’ve taken the books too…” She was referring to my blog. My story about not fitting in. And she didn’t either, turns out. And there we were. Two peas in a pod.