I started drinking when I was in college and there were ski weekends we went on. One day I woke up with a hangover at a vacation place that had horses. We decided to go horseback riding and I was thrown in to a big mud puddle.
Another time, my brother was being honored at one of those round table men things in the Hampton’s. I couldn’t stand being there so I got drunk and climbed under the table to escape. My nieces had to coax me out with food.
Another time I was drunk was at my cousins sons Bar Mitzvah. I showed up in the same dress as my sister-in-law AND my cousin! It was a nightmare. So I got drunk on ginger-ale and rum.
Once i rented a horse and it was very hungry. As we went along the house would take long weeds and pull them. One time he tripped on the weed and threw me off of him. I gave up on horses after that. They named that horse Judy after that.
So now I don’t drink because of acid reflux and migraines. I don’t miss alcohol at all becauseIm crazy anyway, I don’t need any help in that department. Drinking worked for me when I was more insecure.
The director of the Department of Design and Construction for NYC interviewed me. It was a time when everyone was wearing short skits so I looked very cute that day. I was in my late 30’s and the man interviewing me was very flirtatious. I got the job and was in charge of supervising various construction sites. Some days Id walk by various construction sites in my mini skirt and everyone would hoot and I’d get annoyed! At work Id bend over the blueprints and the men would stand behind me to get a look up my skirt. Its hilarious really because I was wearing a mini skirt. I mean I would’ve changed my outfit but I liked it!
I became very good friends with another woman who worked with me there. She was a painter. She sat in front of my and was also named Judy. She would often go out to lunch alone and come back drunk and fall asleep at her board.
But anyway we both joined a group called women in architecture. Once a week we would all get together and share our experiences as women in our profession. It was a very supportive group. Judy was really brilliant and managed to pass a very difficult 7 day licensing test while she was drunk.
There was a party at one of the women’s houses and Judy got very drunk there. There were a lot of men there too. I came in after she got looped. Someone came over to me and said Judy was in the bathroom and asked if Id go in and see if she’s ok. I went it and she was hanging onto the pipes under the sink. “I’m so embarrassed…” she kept repeating. I took her downstairs and put her in a cab.
When I went to the Hampton’s in the summers back then, some of the women in my architecture group wanted to share a house. Judy was one of them. On Saturday nights she would get totally smashed and start arguing about politics and get very emotional. She was very talented and smart and good-looking. She did the Times crossword for fun.
One Sunday morning after a party when Judy got really loud, the other women went out to the beach. I saw Judy at the beach and she was sitting alone. I asked her why she was alone. She said she didn’t think the other women wanted to be with her. I said, “Judy lets walk”.I told her about what happened the night before. She was very upset. I recommended she see my psychiatrist. So she did! Judy joined AA and quit smoking too. She was really amazing.
I guess she really trusted me. It’s amazing really.
She died in her 50’s.