The Hunchback of St. Marks Place

Theres one weirdo who wait downstairs in front of my building when I walk my dogs. He just watches me. I never talk to him. I’ve had some weirdos in my life. When I was a teenager a couple of guys had a crush on me. One was a ding-a-ling. I some how attract weird people.

For example, years ago I went apartment hunting in the East Village. I was on St. Marks one day looking at a rent stabilized apartment some guy had. I met with him and he said how much the apartment was- like $50 a month.  Then he asked me to dinner. Then he wanted to have sex with me. I figured, hey why not? He has a hunchback and a weird leg, butIll get the apartment and boy did I! This was the first and last time I sold my body. It was worth it. You’d have to try and get an apartment in NYC to understand. This apartment was amazing.

I was robbed while I lived there. I was out for a half an hour. All they found was some tampons and my diaphragm. Oh and a suitcase my mother gave me. Not a lot, but it was very creepy living there after that. So I went to a place that built security gates for banks. It was a loft and the guys who worked there were brothers. They had a great reputation but it was clear from looking around their loft they did 2 things, build gates for windows and drink bottles of booze. They sold me gates with locks for my windows. They installed them too. I didn’t ask permission from anyone, I was frantic. So they sealed me in nice and safe.

So the guy I sold myself to came back looking to cash in again for generously giving me a cheap apartment. I owed him more money for the apartment. My boyfriend Billy was living with me by then, so cash was all I gave him that day.


I was robbed while I lived there.

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